Random Tuesday Thoughts

Did you ever notice that when you are in a position, where only one thing could possibly go wrong, and the odds of it going wrong are 5000 to 1, it always seems to go wrong! Of course, on the other hand, It takes me $50 in lottery tickets to win 5 bucks! My mother wants to visit Brazil, but is afraid to fly over the water. I can see her point, hitting the ground is a much better result than a water impact! How can elevation be calculated to sea level if the sea level constantly changes? Every time I go to star bucks or dunkin donuts for coffee, when I get it, the cup smells like perfume or cologne, I like perfume smell on a woman, not on my coffee cup! Shaving is a pain in the ass! I love it when my face is clean shaven, but it rarely is, I am the poster child for five o clock shadow. I noticed that there are a few movies that I will watch every single time they come on TV. I watched “My Cousin Vinny” again the other day, I have only seen it 50 times! My central air is not working correctly, so I am running three window units in the mean time, just after getting a letter saying that the utility company was going to raise the electric rates. Why is everyone so into sitting on the beach? It is hot, and dirty, and smells like fish! (Hmm, I really could be bad! LOL) People used to always say,"Oh , you are still young", or "it's never too late to start over"! No one says that to me any more. Pizza is my Heroin, it makes me very happy, until it is gone, then I feel guilty for eating it and immediately start jonesing for more! LOL! They do not have Birch Beer in the south, most people here do not even know what it is. I ate lunch one time with this old guy who had lived in NC his entire life, he had pork loin, biscuits, mashed potatoes, gravy, and banana pudding, he salted everything heavily and spent the whole lunch talking about heart disease running in his family!(Not to mention the after lunch cigarette!) I have to work on the third. How the fuck am I supposed to do something on the fourth, without having time to prepare? Did you ever stop up someones toilet and freak out because there was no plunger in the bathroom? I did it one time and the damned thing overflowed. Why do they call it a stool sample? I sit on a stool! The term "black ice" is silly, maybe it is black because the road is black?! My step brother claims that he is not a racist, he says he hates every one the same. He is 42 years old, unemployed and unhappily married and living where he hates, maybe we know why! This is a thought from my sister, Did you ever look at your parents and wonder if you would like them if they were not related to you? I am sure that they have thought the same about me! O.K. Enough! LOL!!!

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