Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Theme Thursday (Flight)

This story has been removed for fear of copyright infringement

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

WTF Wednesday


Hit 40 has been What The F*cking us for a few weeks so I thought that I would join on in on the fun! WTF!

WTF is with people's timing and scheduling? All deliveries and inspectors seem to show up 5 minutes before lunch time. No matter how hard I try to avoid it, it usually boils down to me having to sacrifice my time!

WTF is the problem with people who won't return phone calls? It seems that about one out of ten messages that I leave are ever returned.

Why do I always put myself in a situation where I make enough money to pay my bills, but have no money left over for anything else? The more I make, the more I spend. Oh well, at least I can pay the bills.

WTF! I think that Murphy's law was written with me in mind, it had to be!

I have a 760 credit score and a 900 dollar mortgage at 6 and 3/4 %. I could cut a couple of hundred off of my payment if I could refinance. I have paid for six years without a late payment and no bank will refinance me because of my credit to debt ratio! WTF????

WTF is it with people who do not realize that the gas pedal is for making the car go!!!!!??!!

TURN OFF THE MUSIC FIRST!


video


LMAO!!!!

Monday, September 28, 2009

Random Tuesday Thoughts

For the third time in six weeks, a Sunday rain destroyed everything that I accomplished at work the Friday before. Water and earthwork do not mix!

I find it interesting that people always root for the underdog, but at the same time, people are drawn towards winners.

I love my six pack abs, even though they are hiding under two inches of fat, at least I know that they are still there.

One thing that I miss about where I lived in Jersey was that you could take walks in the woods. In Eastern Carolina it is impossible to walk in the woods without a machete, there are so many vines and stickers. I went to find a golf ball and had more pricks on my leg than Paris Hilton at a night club!

The Yankees won the AL east, which is a great thing, especially if you hate the Red Sox!

Do you think that Popeye had large forearms because he spent a lot of time on a boat without any women?

Sometimes we do things without really analyzing what we are doing. Have you ever thought about stuffing a Turkey?? You hollow out a body cavity and then jam bread into it! I still love it, but I am just saying...

I don't trust blogger any more. If I ever stop commenting on your site, let me know. I use my dashboard quite a bit to keep up, and sometimes posts are not showing up. Plus, I was dropped off of a few blogs that I follow!

It has been said that if you do not want to get into an argument, that you should not discuss politics or religion. Aren't they the same thing?

At the end of "Titanic", when the old woman threw the blue diamond into the ocean, I wanted to strangle her! She had a priceless item that could have made her family's lives easy and could have covered some of the bills for when she was in the nursing home, but she just tossed it away! She should have jumped overboard and gave her Granddaughter the gem!

I hate whiny music. I have said this before, but I have no use for crap like Coldplay, or Dave Matthews band, it just is so weak!

Now go visit the UnMom, this is her baby!
The Un Mom

Sunday, September 27, 2009

I love Me A Smart Mouthed Broad!

I had another story ready for Sunday Night into Monday, but I had another idea. You all know, Smart Mouth Broad, and the fact that she has not been posting. I see her popping in all the time commenting, so in an attempt to bring her out of retirement, I talked her into posting my story over there! So if you are interested in reading it, you can check it out on WORDS OF WISDOM FROM A SMART MOUTH BROAD.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

The power of a Rose

This story has been removed for fear of copyright infringement

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Happy Hour Friday

In Emails with RxBambi, a great friend of mine, we decided to co host a Friday post called "Happy hour Friday". Actually it started out as Happy Friday, but Hit 40 threw in the Hour part, and made the little picture! Friday is the end of the work week, and a doorway to free time and hopefully fun. Just list some things that make you happy, and Have a fun weekend! BE SURE TO VISIT RX BAMBI and HIT 40! :)

Here are some things that make me happy.....

It makes me happy to hear someone say that my test results are fine and that I need no further testing.

I love it when a day goes a hundred times better than I ever imagined that it would(This one relates to work)

I am happy that I still get to wear shorts all day. I hate long pants. I should live in the tropics.

I love the fact that I am still able to keep up with everyone's blogs. I read about 100 per day!

The fact that I have been doing an extremely dangerous job for 20 years , and no one on my crew has ever been injured makes me extremely happy.


There is something about a woman eating a popsicle that stimulates my inner happiness! (I had to get one pervert line in!) LOL

HERE ARE A FEW THINGS THAT USED TO MAKE ME HAPPY WHEN I WAS A KID:

I loved watching Abbott and Costello on the weekend.


There was nothing better than going to the park with your bat, glove , and ball and playing sports with the same six kids that you saw every day!

I loved Christmas morning when I still believed in Santa Claus.

It was great going to school! I loved those times!

(Yes, I am on the right, along with my little Brother and my red headed step brother from hell!) lol!

That's enough for this week, as usual, I could keep listing things forever!

WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Theme Thursday (WILD)

The Discovery

This story has been removed for fear of copyright infringement

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

WTF Wednesday


Hit 40 has been What The F*cking us for a few weeks so I thought that I would join on in on the fun! WTF!

WTF is with Blogger????? We all wonder about people unfollowing, well I found out that sometimes it is Bloggers fault. I followed Eternally Distracted and then her posts disappeared off of my dashboard. I figured that she just went on hiatus or something. Turns out that I was deleted from her follower list, I had to refollow!

WTF is it with Doctors visits? Why does it take 3 hours to do a 5 minute test? And what is with the billing rates? An EKG involves plugging in a little machine and hooking up a few wires. The whole process literally takes 10 minutes and costs over 100 dollars. All of the Doctors visits that I have had in the past few weeks have revealed that there is nothing wrong with me, physically, anyway, (hehe) Is that piece of mind worth 2000 bucks? Hell yea!

Would I have that piece of mind if I did not have health insurance? Hell no!

I grew up in a household where we used food stamps for a time, and we were on medicaid at times, and we ate free school lunch and wore hand me down clothes. Not all people who do not have the means to provide certain things for themselves are lazy or uneducated. It makes me sick to see some guy stand at a podium in a 2000 Dollar suit, and rant about how it is not governments job to take care of people. WTF is wrong with a situation where we put everything on the line to tackle and rebuild a foreign nation, but we draw the line at giving someone a medical exam? WTF? Shit, I am not even a democrat!

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Waystation too!

I love Brian Miller's writing. He is very inspirational and reflective, so naturally I had to honor him by spoofing him. I love the way that he turns simple things in to something important. He is the blogging Bono! If you have never read his writing, check him out!


The morning sun glistens upon my steaming cup. Events of the days gone by recorded on the parchment that is unfolded in front of me. Her radiant beauty ever present, as she bestows upon me my ritual blessing of chicken embryos and slightly charred bread. It is my humble utopia.

The sound in the distance


We listen to the mechanical grind as it constricts upon the weeks remains. A mobile capsule of our yesterdays, interlocking our existences with the lives of friends and strangers. The keepers of the gate cling upon it's massive dome, straying only to gather what was once important and meaningful. They remove pieces of our lives,remnants of items that make us who we are.

Pickles? French Fries? Used Tissues?


You can tell a lot about a person by what they throw away. These things define us. Like a writer's dried up pen or a painter's worn out brush. A history lesson for the future, an archeological treasure for a generation not yet born.

Do you think about your trash can? The letter that you threw away? The empty deodorant container? What a person throws away can tell you what a person holds onto. Sometimes we all can relate to trash, waiting to be discarded. Hopefully when that time comes, we will become someone else's treasure!

garbage

(Now that I have reread it, it is kind of true! hahaha!)

Visit Waystation One!

Saturday, September 19, 2009

An Offer he couldn't refuse (Conclusion)

When the boat arrived back at the dock, it was met by a Swat team and a gang of FBI agents. Vincent Briganti and the entire crew of the boat were taken into custody. The FBI had a surveillance video of Johnny being taken from his home. They had hidden cameras monitoring his house ever since his last visit with the Don. They also had an anonymous tip about a man being carried on to a boat, unfortunately by the time that they deciphered everything it was too late for Johnny. As careful as the Mafia Don had always been, the fear that he had of being implicated in the Elliott assassination had made him very sloppy.

The police began the search for Johnny Marabella. If a body could be located, then Briganti would definitely be charged with murder and most likely get life, effectively shutting down his empire.

With the help of the boat's GPS devices, the FBI specialist found a probable location and a massive search ensued. It only took five hours to locate Johnny's body. The Briganti crime family would be charged with the murder of Marabella and would become the lead suspects in the Vice President's demise.

"Served them right", thought Louise Elliott, widow of the Vice President. She had known about her husbands affair with that hollywood slut. Ted Elliott was in the oil business when he was not in public life. He dealt with many seedy characters and even some terrorist types. It was through one of those connections that Louise was able to put a hit out on him. It amazed her how far a million dollars and a bit of inside information would get a person. She faked being sick that night and had called Elliott at a specific time to ask him to come home. Everything was perfect. Between the government compensation and her husband's insurance and oil interests, she was a very rich and beloved woman. She had no worries. As a bonus, she had, in effect, brought down the biggest Mafia family in this country. Ironically, that had been one of her husbands main goals. She felt no remorse and would never be a suspect. She became an American hero over time, a widow deserving sympathy.

Vincent Briganti did two years in the Federal lock up, until he was stabbed with a shank, while roaming the courtyard. He died, along with the criminal empire which bore his name. The days of the old time Mafia were over.

Johnny Marabella was Implicated in the Ted Elliott killing and denied induction into the hall of fame, the greatest ballplayer to ever be excluded.

Tina woke up every morning thinking about the two men whom she had loved and lost. She knew that she could have never had a life with Ted Elliott in the United States, especially in front of Johnny, a man who she still loved dearly. Elliott was not a power hungry politician like everyone thought. It was both of their idea to fake her death. Ted had brought in an illegal immigrant nurse, and had her draw a pint of Tina's blood. They smeared her room and her clothes and then ripped them a bit and hid them in a dumpster. With the money that she and Elliott had stashed in foreign accounts, from her acting income and his oil businesses, they had set her up in a beautiful spread in Argentina. Argentina was perfect for Ted. That is where his company was based out of, and he made monthly trips there when he was not in office. He was going to finish his term, quit politics, divorce his wife and eventually join her. She was happy to be done with the limelight. She had dyed her hair and cut it short. None of the town locals had any clue of who she was.

Tina's new found happiness ended in one issue of a newspaper. Both of the people who meant so much to her had been killed within a day of each other. They said that Johnny had something to do with it, but she never blamed him. She would live out the rest of her life alone, knowing that it was her who had caused the chain of events to unfold. In her mind, she had killed the men who meant so much to her.

She spent her days reading books and staring out of the window. One day while looking for a good book to read, she picked up a copy of "Romeo and Juliet".

"Fuck you Shakespeare", she mumbled and threw the book in the trash.

Friday, September 18, 2009

An Offer He Couldn't Refuse (PART 3)

If you did not read the first two parts then you will be lost! Just scroll back about 3 posts and start from there! - Thank you, the Management. hehe!

Vice President, Ted Elliott, left the basketball arena, flanked by secret service agents. His wife had not been feeling well, and had opted out of attending the game. He decided to leave the hard court action early in order to check on her. He and his entourage headed toward the line of limos. Elliott waved at the crowd in the usual way that politicians do, not really acknowledging any specific individual.

A loud pop was heard in the night air. The secret service agent standing next to the Vice President was instantly showered with blood, bone fragments, and bits of brain matter. It was pandemonium as Elliott's body hit the ground. His head had been exploded by a large caliber bullet. He was dead, his body lying motionless, his head looking like a hollowed out watermelon.

In all of the chaos, the assassin escaped. A Browning 30/30 was recovered beneath a parked car, but no one had seen the shooter.

Johnny Marabella smiled as he watched the news reports. Don Briganti had honored his request and delivered his brand of justice. Tina had been avenged!

Vincent Briganti had a huge problem. He had not made the hit on Elliott. It was just a coincidence, bad timing, really. Sometimes, looking guilty could be as bad as actually being guilty. The Feds knew that he had disdain for the Vice President. The feds knew that he had just met with Marabella, and they obviously knew of all of the other intertwining connections between Marabella, Tina , and Elliott. He now had to mop up a mess that he had no part in creating. Who ever killed Ted Elliott was now on Briganti's shit list!

Two men dressed in suits appeared at the gate of Johnny's home. He walked down the drive and directed his attention to the man closest to him. " Can I help you?" He asked, not knowing who the men were.

"The Don requests a meeting," the man said, "Immediately!"

Johhny knew that he had to go at that moment. When Briganti said immediately, that meant five minutes ago! He opened the gate and walked to the car. The other henchman opened the door for him, and as Johnny bent over to get in, the last thing that he remembered was a hard hit to the back of his head.

He woke up to a rocking motion. He was seated in a chair and was tied down. His mouth was taped closed. Johhny could see now that they were out on the big lake, on a large boat, out of sight of any shoreline. Briganti came out of the cabin, cigar in hand. He ripped the tape off of Johnny's mouth.

"Who did you hire to hit Elliott?" The Don asked, obviously annoyed that Johnny would go over his head.

"Nobody, Godfather! I swear that I left it in your hands!"

Briganti held the burning end of his cigar against Johnny's forearm. He screamed in pain.

"You didn't talk to anyone?"

"Just you," Johnny cried out like a little boy. "I didn't do anything." He was bawling now.

Briganti retaped his mouth, and looking over at one of the deck hands, he gave a nod and then he disappeared below deck. Chains were now being applied to Johnny's body the same way that one would put lights on a Christmas tree. His eyes were wide with horror, but he could not scream. If he could have, he would have been heard for miles. The two goons picked up the chair with Johnny in it and tossed it overboard. The last thing that Johnny heard before he hit the water was the two men laughing. His road to the hall of fame now passed through the bottom of Lake Michigan.......... (CONCLUSION BY SUNDAY)

Thursday, September 17, 2009

HAPPY HOUR FRIDAY

In Emails with RxBambi, a great friend of mine, we decided to co host a Friday post called "Happy hour Friday". Actually it started out as Happy Friday, but Hit 40 threw in the Hour part, and made the little picture! (WTF Did I really do?)lol. Friday is the end of the work week, and a doorway to free time and hopefully fun. Just list some things that make you happy, and Have a fun weekend! BE SURE TO VISIT RX BAMBI and HIT 40! :)

Here are some things that make me happy.....

I love waking up in a good mood, and getting up and out in the morning. I get lazy if I sleep in.

It makes me happy when the daylight hours are long. I am not a fan of it getting dark at 5 pm.

It makes me happy that other people think enough of me to link me or give me awards, even though I am such a terrible blogger when it comes to the award thing. I like to hook up people when ever I can, but I just forget who gave me something, sometimes! My bad!

My 1986 Honda Crx Si made me really happy! It was cheap but it was the first car that I loved!



I am happy to have insurance. I just had a stress test that was 1,700 dollars.

I like that I can turn any song, tv show, movie, or event into a sex joke! I am easily amused!


I am glad that Survivor is back on the air, I am a Survivor Junkie.


It makes me happy that we have a new Pizza place here in town that is actually run by two Italians from Brooklyn. Do you know how hard it is to find good pizza in the south??

It makes me happy when my cat falls asleep on my legs while I am watching tv (Blogging)


I love to snow ski, and I am definitely going to go back to Whiteface Mountain this year! Lake Placid is one of my favorite places!


Link up and let us know what makes you happy!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Theme Thursday(Over the hill) An Offer He couldn't Refuse part 2

Headlines saying that Johnny was OVER THE HILL popped up in all of the Chicago newspapers. He was heartbroken, but at least he still had Tina. She was an A list star, known for her glamour and sex appeal. People often wondered why she was married to a ball player, but there truly was a bond there.

A few years passed and Johnny retired, having 2 more championships under his belt. His 0 for 4 was lost in history, no one remembered that game. His life with Tina had become boring and predictable. They still loved each other, but they had grown apart. Tina wanted a divorce and Johnny granted her wish, mostly out of his undying devotion to her.

He bought an estate in the country side, becoming a virtual recluse. Tina, on the other hand, became a talk of the town party girl. She had been linked to a who's who of people in the dating world, from some of Hollywood's most eligible leading men, to some of Hollywood's hottest married men, and even to some high ranking politicians. Some of the tabloids had linked her to Ted Elliott, the sitting vice president of the United States. Elliot denied all involvement with her. He was a married man, but the papers would not let the story go.

A few months later, Tina failed to show up on the set of her latest movie. After multiple attempts to contact her, and no word for another two days, Tina's manager decided to check on her, at the house that she had rented, near the movie set. He knocked a few times on her door, never getting a response. The door was unlocked, so he entered the residence. Blood! That is all that he found. It was smeared on the bed, the walls, and even in the bathroom. There was no sign of Tina.

Forensics determined that it was Tina's blood, and when her clothing was discovered in the water the following week, she was declared dead. Her body was not found, and no suspects were named.

Johnny Marabella was devastated. He knew who had killed her. It was that power hungry son of a bitch, Ted Elliott. Johnny had actually feared something like this happening. He knew that Tina was playing with fire. Elliott had his eyes set on the White House, and nothing would stand in his way, especially not an affair.

There was a ceremony for Tina, and a multitude of people attended. Johnny watched as mourners said their good byes. Elliot never attended, or sent any flowers or condolences. Johnny was livid. He requested a meeting with his Godfather. He had a favor coming to him.

"You want me to take care of Ted Elliott?" Briganti bellowed, in a deep, barrel chested laugh, which was rooted in cigar smoke and wine. "Johnny boy, go back to the country, find yourself a woman, and forget about this Elliott situation. I owe you a favor, but I am not sure that I can do this for you. I want you to go now and forget that we had this conversation."

Johnny got up and kissed Briganti. "Thank you for listening, Godfather," was all that he could say. He left and headed home.

Don Briganti's concierge, a man called "Little Pauly", entered the room. "We going after Elliott?" he asked.
"
"I'd like to kill that rat fucker myself!" Briganti said, his voice dripping with disdain. "But we are never going to whack the Vice President! Ever! (Part 3 on Saturday)

For more Theme Thursday, Click HERE!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

An Offer He Couldn't Refuse

Johnny Marabella was escorted in to his Godfather's office and asked to take a seat. Marabella was a top of the line baseball player, often considered the greatest player of his era. Although he was rich and famous, he still had to abide by certain rules which had governed his family for generations. Marabella's father, Pete, was a soldier in the Briganti crime family, one of the largest mafia organizations in the world. Johnny was bound to a certain code of laws, laws that the government did not approve of. So, now, on the eve of the final game of the fall classic, he was summoned to meet with Don Briganti, his Godfather.

Vincent Briganti was a large, imposing man, made more threatening by the fact that he held people's lives in his hands. He entered the room and sat down behind the desk. Johnny may have been the king of Chicago, but Don Briganti was more like a God. Johnny was nervous.

"Good to see you, Johnny Boy", Briganti said. "Sorry about your Dad, that cancer is a bad deal. I sent flowers."

"I know," Johnny responded, "They were the largest display at the funeral, thank you."

"Johnny, I won't beat around the bush. You will go hitless in tomorrows game, and you will make at least one error if the ball is hit your way. I got a little riding on the series, and I know that you will help the family."

"I don't think that....". Johnny was interrupted, mid sentence.

Don Briganti glared at him and almost growled, "How is that pretty little movie star wife of yours? I hope that she is ok? I would hate to see something happen to her!"

Johnny could read between the lines. He knew that his wife, Tina's, life depended on him doing as he was told. He never felt as though he were being blackmailed. This was just the way that mob business was done.

Don Briganti got up and put his hands on Johnny's shoulders.
"Do we have a deal, my son?"

"Yes Godfather," Johnny replied, bowing his head.

Briganti kissed him on the cheek and said, "I owe you a favor, Johnny. If you ever need help, you come see me."

"Thank you, Godfather", Johnny said, and quietly walked out.

Johnny's team lost the game. He went 0 for 4 and made a fielding error. The newspapers crucified him, blaming him for losing the series. He was distraught......(To be continued tomorrow)

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Things that I hate about Driving

I kind of reworked an old post.

I HATE IT..................

1)......... When I am traveling on an interstate, and I am in a pack of cars riding side by side, bumper to bumper, and there is 2 miles of open road in front of us.!


2). ...... when people do not use their directionals.

3). ...... when I am already doing 50 in a 35 and someone behind me is frantically trying to pass me.

4). ...... when someone is doing 35 in a 50!

5)......... when people nearly lay down while they are driving

6)......... when I am the 6th car in line at a red light, and it takes 45 seconds for the 5 cars in front of me to move when the light turns green.

7)..........when I get stuck behind a hog truck.


8)......... when people come to a stop in a merging situation.

9)......... when people use their horn to say hello to other drivers.

10). ...... when someone who is riding with me always needs to pee in the busiest metropolitan area.


11). ........when people use loud bass, not loud music, just loud bass. I love some cranking tunes, but a bass guitar is not a lead instrument.

12)......... when someone has a map sprawled out on their dashboard while driving.

13). ........ that right before every holiday, they find a reason to raise gas prices


14). ........when I am told that I have to wear my seat belt, even though I would anyway.

15)......... when I see a radar gun, I hate anything to do with radar!


16)..........when anything is drive through, you never get what you order

17). .........when I have to pump my own gas, like I said before it's a Jersey thing!

18).......... when people don't adjust their driving speeds and distance that they follow, when weather conditions are bad



19)......... when you drive 1000 miles to visit someone and the first thing that they want to do when you get there is to take you somewhere else.

20)..........when anything is under construction!



21)......... when someone drives a car with 300 horsepower, and I have to pass them while pulling my boat with a van!


22)..........when on coming cars fade over the yellow line in to my lane.

23)..........when someone cannot talk on the phone and navigate at the same time.

24)..........when I am following Motorcycles, it makes me nervous.



25)..........when someone moves my seat out of position.

I think that I probably have about another hundred or so complaints in me, but these will do for now!

The Fugitive

This story has been removed for fear of copyright infringement

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Happy Hour Friday #2

In Emails with RxBambi, a great friend of mine, we decided to co host a Friday post called "Happy hour Friday". Actually it started out as Happy Friday, but Hit 40 threw in the Hour part, and made the little picture! (WTF Did I really do?)lol. Friday is the end of the work week, and a doorway to free time and hopefully fun. Just list some things that make you happy, and Have a fun weekend! BE SURE TO VISIT RX BAMBI and HIT 40! :)

Here are some things that make me happy.....

Major sporting events like the World Series, or The Superbowl, even a golf major like The Masters will always make for a great day! Nothing better than A Yankees/ Red Sox weekend!


It makes me happy to live in a country that overcomes tragic events and still remains strong.

I love to go places where I have never been, even if it is in my own state.

I like to find humor in most situations, and I usually can!

It makes me happy when I hear someone say, "Hmm, interesting point, I never looked at it that way", after debating with someone.

Being productive, no matter what It is that I am doing, whether it is blogging or working, I always like to succeed, or at least make a mark.

Hanging out with my Brother makes me happy. I don't get to do it much anymore, but he probably knows me better than anyone else.

It makes me happy to have an ever increasing contact with my Sister, who comments on my blog at times. We did not grow up together and I have not seen her since 1995.

I like doing things on a whim, I usually don't plan too far ahead!

And finally, I like the tingling sensation............Oh never mind! This is happy HOUR, that only takes three minutes!!!!! LMAO!

Have a good weekend every one!!!!!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Theme Thursday (RHYTHM)

Gyllegan's Island


Tom Gyllegan, his wife, Claudia, and their two children, Jake and Megan , all sat in the boat, listening to the RHYTHM of the waves, crashing on the beach. Tom gazed at the island and realized how fortunate that he was. He was 35 years old, and was wealthy enough to own his own private island home. It was a ten acre oasis, complete with a beautiful house and an internal marina, capable of docking his sixty foot yacht. It was crazy that he had to do what he was about to attempt.

He and his family had arrived about a week earlier, via the yacht. He didn’t have any captain, or crew, or any maids or other hired help. He and Claudia were very capable, and did not like other people in their home. When they came to the island, it was strictly family time.

Three days ago, his two children had insisted on going fishing. Jake was 12, and Megan was 10, and they both had a love for the ocean. Tom checked out his 17 foot Sea Ray, which he kept on the island full time, and loaded up some fishing gear. Claudia was not really into fishing, but at the insistence of her family, she decided to go.

They headed out, about a half of a mile off shore, and threw their lines in. Nothing was biting except for a few small sharks. It was hot, so Tom put the tarp up. He had brought a small cooler with some water and a few energy bars. He gave everyone a bottle of water and just sat back and watched his family fish. It certainly was the life!

A few hours passed, and a handful of small fish had been caught and released. Tom decided that it was time to head back. He went to start the motor and all he got was a “Click”.
“Shit”, he said.

“What’s wrong?”, Claudia asked, seeming concerned.

“Oh, it’s nothing, I’ll get it”

He knew that he had lied to her. They were a half of a mile from shore, with no way of contacting anyone. They had not seen another boat all day, and being that they were not near anything, would probably be lucky if they ever saw another boat. The worst part was that the anchor rope was pulled tight in a southerly direction, while the island was to the west. If he pulled anchor they would drift away from their home. All that they could do would be to wait and see if the drifting direction changed along with the tide.

Tom tried to start the motor, but eventually killed the battery.

“What are we going to do?” Claudia asked him, almost panicking.

“We will just wait a bit, and see what the drift does”, was his response.

Jack and Megan, sensing their mother’s reaction, snuggled up against her.

“Every thing will be fine”! At least that is what he hoped.

The sun was setting over the island house, and all that they could do is watch it go down. The tide changed and now the boat’s anchor line was being pulled east. It seemed as if the drift was never going to head towards the island. They all reluctantly fell asleep.

Morning came and Tom decided that he would just swim and get the yacht. It was only a half of a mile, and he knew that he could easily make it. He strapped on a life vest and dove in. He was about twenty five feet from the boat when he heard screaming.
“FIN….SHARK…BIG”!!!!!!

He turned back toward the boat and swam as hard as he could. He reached the boat, and six hands frantically grasped at him, pulling him up on to the back deck. The fin passed the back of the boat and Tom could clearly see that it was a large Tiger Shark. Swimming in was not an option

They sat all day trying to stay out of the sun. They finished off the last of the water and the power bars. Tom remembered a show on the discovery channel about people having to survive at sea by drinking urine, so he filled the empty bottles when they had to go. He saw dark shadows below the boat and now assumed that they were in Tiger Shark territory.

Night came again, and this time, no one slept. They were all scared now, and crying was heard off and on.

Another day came and went, without any water and an ever present shadow in the depths. Tom had used all of his flares without any result, and the drift never managed to make its way toward their home. Claudia and the kids were not doing well with the dehydration. He knew that if he did not come up with a plan, that they would die on that boat. It was frustrating. He was a half of a mile from food, water and shelter. It was a long night.

The following day was no different. They had been sitting there for over two days and had not seen another boat. There was a shark parked in the vicinity, and they were dehydrated. He passed out the urine bottles and told his family to drink it. It was very unpleasant. He had to force his kids to drink it by holding their noses shut. He hated himself but knew that he probably had saved their lives. It amazed him how when a body is so starved it will accept something that would normally cause a person to vomit.

Another night went by, and still no boat traffic. He would have to do something in the morning.

The sun came up and all that Tom could come up with was that they should all swim in as a group. He could not take a chance at him going alone and not making it, leaving his family to die. He fitted everyone with life jackets and explained the situation. The kids were crying.

“When We hit the water, you kids hold on to your Mom and me, and swim as hard as you can toward the beach. We will make it”.

He did not see any dark shadows, so he figured that it was a good time to go. He grabbed his fishing knife and they all jumped into the water. Never before did a half of a mile look so far away.

They swam hard. They were half way home, when Tom spotted the fin. It was heading straight toward them. It was the same big bastard that almost got him the other day. As it approached them, the fin went under, and he felt a nudge as the enormous fish passed under them. Claudia and the kids never even saw the shark fin.

“Keep swimming!” He yelled. “As hard as you can!”

He told them to keep their faces toward the beach and focus on the house. He knew that the shark was a tiger shark, and that the first pass was just an investigation, and that it was assessing it’s prey.

They were now about a thousand feet from the shore, and that is when Tom saw the fin bearing down on them again. This was not a fact finding mission, this time. He knew that it was coming in for the kill, and they were still too far out. He looked at Claudia and the kids, swimming as fast as they could, and then he glanced at the beach, and at the house, and thought about how good his life had been. He put his mouth to Claudia’s ear and yelled, “SWIM HARD AND NEVER LOOK BACK!”

Tom stopped swimming, and taking his fishing knife, he sliced his arm, spilling his blood into the water. As his wife and kids swam away from him, the fin turned in his direction. He felt immense pressure on his thigh as his leg entered the shark’s mouth. He stabbed at it’s head with his fishing knife, trying to hit the snout and eyes, but to no avail. He heard parts of his body crunching and tasted his own blood which was churning up around him in a warm crimson foam. Everything was going blank. The last thing that he saw was Claudia dragging the children on to the beach. He had won.

Claudia turned and looked back toward the anchored boat. She saw a tattered life vest, floating in a pink area of sea water. She knew what had happened. She sank to her knees and screamed, “TOM NOOOOOO”!

She sat on the beach and cried, the children huddled against her, sobbing as well. Almost hypnotized by the RHYTHM of the surf, it was about an hour before the reality of her overwhelming thirst caused her to get up and walk toward the house. As they slowly made their way along the beach, Claudia heard a humming noise. She turned to see a charter boat about a mile off shore, passing on the other side of their anchored Sea Ray. She began to wave with both arms trying to flag them down.

The captain of the charter boat looked over to the island and saw them waving. He turned to one of his paying fishermen and said, “Lucky bastards, wouldn’t you love to live like that?"

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Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Rhyming Wednesday

Rhyming Wednesday


Time for Rhyming Wednesday once again! I got sick of looking for photos for wordless Wednesday, plus I have too much to say. I noticed that there were a lot of poets in the blog world, so I thought that I would try to round them up. There are no rules, your poem does not need to rhyme, or be a certain style, I am still waiting for some dirty limericks! You can use someone else's poem, but should credit the author!

WTC

I watched the towers rise,
When I was but a child,
On the ferry we would ride,
As the steel and glass compiled.

There was a generation,
Who did not like them at all,
They said that they were boxy,
That they were way too tall.

An eye sore some would say,
They would ruin downtown’s view,
You can’t mix old design,
With something bold and new.

But people grew to love them,
An Icon they became,
A symbol of democracy,
Twin Towers was their name.

I watched the towers fall,
When I was so much older,
Turned to a twisted heap,
Of rubble that did smolder.

I shed so many tears,
As I watched it hauled away,
There were many wasted lives,
Upon that fateful day.

But our spirit wasn’t broken,
With the building they did scorch,
The lady of the harbor,
Still holds freedom’s torch.



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Monday, September 7, 2009

Happy Labor Day!!!!!!

To all of my education friends, who teach the children......

To all of my friends who work out of an office.....

To all of my friends in the Military.....

To all my friends working overseas......

To all of my friends who live a blue collar life.......

To all of you stay at home Moms, who's job is one that I would not want......

To anyone who gets up and goes to work...........

To anyone who has done their time and is now enjoying their retirement.....

To all of my friends who are in school, preparing themselves for the work world...

And most of all, To those of you who have worked hard and had the rug ripped out from under you by the poor economy, and who are now looking for a job...............

I wish you a HAPPY LABOR DAY!

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Little Lost Boy (Conclusion)

Three more appointments came and went, and "Gone to Heaven" was the only message that he received. It had been nearly two months since he had first met the boy, and the authorities still had no clue where he had come from. Tim decided that it was time to end his obsession with Charlie's communications. He told Amy that he was perfectly healthy and that there was no need for follow up visits.

Although he had severed ties with Charlie, he could not get the messages out of his mind. He spent more and more time drinking and stargazing, and less time running his own personal life. Tim decided that he was officially going insane. He threw away the beer that he had been working on, locked up his boat, climbed up on to the dock, and headed for his car. About four boat slips away, he saw an old, but well kept sail boat. He noticed the name, "Gone to Heaven". He froze, chills running down his spine. It could not be that simple. Maybe he really was imagining this whole thing. Perhaps he had seen the boat before and it led him to create Charlie's mental message in his own mind. On the other hand, maybe Charlie's unwillingness to see other Doctors was his way of getting to Tim, the closest one to the situation. Either way, he had to take a look.

The boat was dark. Tim went back to his own boat and grabbed a flashlight. It was late, and there was no activity on the docks. A few boats had their lights on, but none close to where he was. He climbed aboard the "Gone to Heaven", and began looking in the tiny windows, at first without the flashlight. The boat was very still and appeared to be empty. He decided to use the light. He saw a dining area, it was empty, and then he moved forward toward the sleeping quarters. At first, he did not see anything, but then something caught his eye and he panned back. He saw two feet, bound together by rope, but could not see above the knees due to a partition which was blocking his view. He knew that someone was tied up, and it was all too weird to be coincidence. He was going to bust into the boat, but first he called 911.

The door to the galley was fairly secure, but not so much that he wasn't able to kick it in. He scrambled to the front of the boat and that is where he found her, bound with rope, and gagged with duct tape. Tim ripped the tape off of her mouth. She was alive, but very weak and almost unconscious. She could not speak, and was nearly immobile. Tim tried picking her up and carrying her, but the tight quarters were making it very difficult. He knew that it was taking way too much time!

He finally got her to the foot of the stairs, basically dragging her. He heard a click and looked up on to the deck above. A large, brooding figure had a pistol pointed at him. The man spoke.
"What the Fuck do you think you're doing? Put the little lady back where you found her, and then we will all go for a boat ride".

Tim was not the brave type, he was on the verge of peeing his pants, especially when he realized that the gun was pointed at his head. He started pulling the woman back toward the front, when he heard commotion outside. He saw lights covering the boat. He heard someone say, "Drop the gun"! He saw the man, who had been pointing the gun at him, turn away and fire the gun toward the dock. Finally, he saw the big man dance to the rhythm of bullets, as they riddled his body. Thank God for 911, was all that Tim could think at that moment.

Tim gave his story to the police, leaving out the Charlie connection, saying that he had heard strange noises coming from the boat. The woman was taken to the hospital, in a near comatose state. She was malnourished and obviously traumatized. Tim decided that he would make sure that the woman was going to live before he called Amy. What was he going to tell her, anyway? That Charlie told him where to find his Mother?

It turned out that the woman's name was Susan, and she had been missing for almost three months. According to the police reports, Susan was single, had no children, and had been reported missing by her mother, after not showing up to her own birthday party. Tim was puzzled. Somehow, Charlie was connected to this situation?

Susan was coming out of her light coma, and starting to get a grip on reality. Tim decided that he would call Amy and tell her some sort of story, in order to get her to bring Charlie to the hospital. He dialed her number, and she picked up.

"Hello, Amy, This is doctor Boyd, I was just checking on Charlie, has he been feeling o.k.? It's been a couple of weeks, and I was still a bit worried about him."

Amy responded, " I thought that he was fine"?

"Oh, I'm sure that he is, I was just following up. There was one more test that I wanted to run, down at the hospital"

"Well, that is very sweet", she said, ""But Charlie went back with his parents last week."

Tim was confused. "His parents? How did they find them? Why did it take so long"?

"Oh, it is such a long story! Let's just say that the parents thought that he was at a special needs camp. He wandered off during the confusion of settling everyone in. His parents assumed that all was well, until they went to pick him up. That was two weeks ago, and that is when they reported him missing. We found neglect at the camp, because both times that his mother called to check on him, the aide who worked the desk told her that her son was fine, even though he wasn't there! Do you believe how pathetic some people are? Oh, yea, his real name is Eric, by the way. I kind of liked Charlie"!

"I would like to hear all of the details, sometime", Tim replied, still befuddled.

"Great, call me, we can do dinner some night"!

"I sure will"

With that said, they both hung up

Tim walked in to Susan's hospital room. She looked at him, very weak, but fully alert.

"Are you the one who found me"? she asked.

"Yes I am", Tim replied, holding her hand.

"How did you ever find me"?

"A little boy named Charlie led me to you". Was the only thing that Tim knew to say.

Susan looked very sad, her eyes started to tear up.

"Are you o.k.", Tim asked her, squeezing her hand a bit tighter.

"Yes, Just when you were talking about a little boy, it made me think of my son, Eric. I had him when I was young and could not take care of him. A lovely couple adopted him. I wonder every day if he is alright, or what he is growing up like. In my heart, I will always love him, even though I know that I could never take care of him. He required a lot of attention. he was a special needs child"

Tim was stunned. he could not tell her the truth, it would disrupt too many lives. He looked at her and said, " I am sure that he loves you and respects you for thinking about his welfare. I am sure that he remembers you, and will always be in your heart. I am sure that one day your paths will cross."

She thanked him for his kindness, and they said their good byes. He left knowing that she would make a full recovery. All that he could think of as he walked away was the term "Special needs". Maybe , from now on he would just think of them as "Gifted".

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Little Lost Boy

I am posting this in two parts, it might be too long otherwise.

He had been found wandering on the streets of town. He was about six or seven years old, had no identification, and apparently was autistic. He was put in to the temporary custody of the social service department, where he had been for the past ten days. They called him "Charlie", because he did not speak or focus on anything for more than a second. They needed to give him some name to go by. He appeared to be healthy, well clothed, and showed no signs of injury. A nice young woman, named Amy, had been assigned to look after him, until some clue as to where he had come from was discovered.

Amy took Charlie to the pediatrician for a basic, but thorough, physical. The Doctor's name was Timothy Boyd. He was a well respected physician, and a divorced father of two, who rarely spent time with his children, due to his demanding schedule.

"You are the first doctor that we could get him to see", Amy told Tim. " We tried other doctors, but he went crazy, almost went into convulsions. We thought that we would try a few more before we had to do anything drastic. He walked right in here. I was amazed, actually"!

"Kids like me", he responded with a smile.

Tim gave Charlie the whole battery of tests, determining that the boy was completely healthy, physically, but noticing his autism. He looked at Amy and asked, "He hasn't made any attempts at speaking or eye contact"?

"No", she replied, "He has been like this since we found him, except for the screaming that he did when we tried to take him to the other pediatricians."

Tim turned his back to them and began writing in the boy's chart, that is when he heard a child's voice. It was as plain as day. It said:

"Find my Mommy"

Tim spun around and looked at Amy, who did not bat an eye. "Did he just say something"? He asked her.

"Not a peep", she replied, puzzled that he had asked.

"I must be hearing things", he said, smiling, trying to hide his minor embarrassment. He was looking at Charlie now, and for the first time, Charlie's eyes looked in his direction, and stopped when they met his.

"Find My Mommy"


It was as clear as a bell in Tim's head, but the boy's mouth never moved. Was he going crazy?? He would not question Amy again, he knew that she had not heard anything.

Tim decided to have Amy bring Charlie back the next week for a follow up visit. She was puzzled, but agreed. Tim had really made the appointment for his own sake, he needed to make sure that he was not going insane.

Seven days had passed and Tim walked in to his exam room, feeling a bit apprehensive. He had not slept well, since his last visit with Charlie. He greeted Amy and then gave Charlie a smile and a little rub on top of his head. He checked the boy's heart and other vital areas, already knowing that he was fine. There was no voice this time, he must have been imagining it the previous week. Amy and Charlie headed for the exit. As Tim watched them leave, Charlie looked back over his shoulder.

"Help her"

Tim froze. He knew that he was not crazy! This boy was communicating with him. He ran to Amy, and thinking quickly, said, "We noticed a slight irregularity in Charlie's blood work. I think that I need to see him weekly until we can determine if there is a problem."

Amy, looking concerned, asked,"I hope that you don't think that it is anything serious"?

"No, I'm sure that it isn't, this is just precautionary"

She made the appointment and they were on their way. Tim watched them walk toward the parking lot. All the way to the car, Tim kept hearing:

"Help her"
"Help her"

Tim took his boat out over the weekend. He was supposed to have his kids, but his ex wife had taken them to Disney Land. A good fishing trip never hurt when he needed to clear his head. Even though he had caught a large Mackerel, he could not get his mind off of Charlie, and his mental connection. Later, he docked his boat and sat on the back deck, drinking beer and staring at the stars, taking advantage of the serenity. It was a good place to just sit and think. Tim spent a lot of time there, especially when something troubled him.

A few days later, at the next appointment, a new message was received.

"Gone to Heaven"

Tim was now befuddled. Was she dead? Did Charlie see her die? How could he help a dead woman? Maybe he was supposed to pray for her. He had no idea, but decided that on the way home that he would stop by St. Peter's and say a prayer for Charlies mother............( Conclusion soon)

(THIS WAS ADDED AFTER THE FIRST FOUR COMMENTS) I ALREADY HAVE AN ENDING, BUT IF ANYONE ELSE WANTS TO WRITE THEIR OWN, FEEL FREE!

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Happy Hour Friday

Last week, I posted a "You know what is sad" post, and the following day, I did a "you know what makes me happy post". The Happy post seemed to be very well received. So, in Emails with RxBambi, a great friend of mine, we decided to co host a Friday post called "Happy hour Friday". Actually it started out as Happy Friday, but Hit 40 threw in the Hour part, and made the little picture! (WTF Did I really do?)lol Friday is the end of the work week, and a doorway to free time and hopefully fun. Just list some things that make you happy, and Have a fun weekend! Of course, I will probably be chopping someone's feet off in my next post! LOL

Here are some things that make me happy.....

I like a long road trip, just listening to music and not being in a hurry to get where I am going.

I like time to sit and write, without interruptions.

The sound of breaking waves and seagulls, makes me very happy as I take a nap on a Sunday afternoon!

I am thrilled when the Dermatologist tells me that the spot on my nose is nothing to worry about.

I am happy that I have as much job security as a person can have in these tough economic times.

Having someone say, "What happened to the other half of you"? When noticing my weight loss, makes me extremely happy!

Wondering makes me happy. I hope that I never stop wondering! Sometimes I like my questions not to have answers!

I am overjoyed when all of my bills are current and the fact that I only have 15 car payments remaining.

Happiness is when a plan works out exactly like I hoped it would!

What makes you a happy person???

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Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Theme Thursday (Beginning)

Unwanted Beginning


The Pharmacy was slow on Tuesday, Sandy thought that it was strange. It seemed that usually she could judge about how many customers were going to drop off orders for prescriptions, or about how many doctors were going to call, but she totally misjudged it on this day. She was actually bored.

Sandy hated being bored, because it allowed her to think about her life and how she felt that she was being robbed. She was not getting ripped off by her job, but instead by life’s cruel twist of fate. Her husband, Paul had been diagnosed with ALS, otherwise known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease. He had gotten some muscle weakness and trembling in his hands and arms and had gone to several different doctors. All of the Doctors and tests came up with the same conclusion, that Paul was going to be another victim of this cruel killer. ALS has no cure and is a terminal diagnosis.

She thought about her three children, two daughters and a son, all young teens, and how they were going to face the reality of it all. They knew that their Dad was sick, but they were not told what he had or that it was serious. Sandy knew that she had to sit them down and have a talk, but she had to wait until she was strong enough to face it herself.

Paul was almost to the point where he could not walk, he was telling the children that he had chronic arthritis, but he could not keep up that story much longer. Sandy had gotten a wheelchair for him. She knew that it would not be long before she had to see him confined to a bed, requiring a hospice nurse and life sustaining equipment. She wished that business would pick up, so that she could get her mind off of it.

Sandy was due to get off at 4 pm, and it was 3 when she looked at the clock. That is when a very old man, obviously homeless or not well cared for waddled over to the counter.

“I have a headache”, he said, “I need an aspirin”.

Sandy was amused at the way he just blurted that out, she replied, “The aspirin is in Aisle 3”

“ I want one aspirin, not a bottle! I don’t have any money”, he almost shouted.

Frank, the store owner, heard the man and told him that they could not give out free aspirin and that he should find a heath clinic. The old man turned and began to walk away. Sandy had a big heart and ran out to the elderly gentleman and said , “Wait for me outside, I will get you some aspirin.” She went back behind the counter and told Frank that she was going to take a break. She clocked out and immediately went to the aspirin and purchased a cheap bottle.

The little old man was sitting on a bench outside of the store, he really looked very old and ragged. Sandy really felt sorry for him. She gave him the bottle of aspirin and said, “Don’t worry about any money, I took care of it.”

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pill bottle. It was old and there was no wrapper on it. He handed it to her and said, “I am going to give you this for being so nice to me. I had ten pills and this is the last one. I was saving it for me, but I have been around long enough.”

She took the bottle and found one red tablet with no markings. She had never seen that kind of pill in her daily work. “What is it”, she asked, puzzled ?

“It is a pill that will put a person out of their misery, it is a means to an end. I have given nine others away. Some have used them, and some have not, but when someone’s pain gets unbearable, it is always an option.”

He was a nut bag, that is what she thought. She always seemed to attract the weirdos. It was rather odd that a hobo seemed to know her situation, or at least, very coincidental. She put the pill in her pocket and bid the man farewell.

“God bless you, you are an angel, thank you for the aspirin”, he said as he slowly walked away.

In the next few weeks, Paul’s condition got much worse. He could not get out of the bed, he was going downhill fast. Not only had his muscles lost their strength, his breathing was starting to become labored, not serious yet, but they knew that it would get progressively worse. Sandy calmed him down, giving him a gentle massage and making small talk. She told him the story about the little old man, and in an attempt to find out where Paul’s head was at, she told him about the red tablet.

“ Let’s have a family meeting” , Paul said in a low labored voice, “ I want to tell the whole truth to the kids, and when I get to a point where I need a feeding tube or a trache tube, then I am going to take that pill, and I don’t want you to grieve for me. It is my choice, I cannot die like this, I want to go out on my terms.”

They had a meeting and tears flowed freely, it was not a very uplifting scene. They did not tell the children about the tablet and Paul’s plan for euthanizing himself.

Paul had really gone down hill, the Doctors had decided that if he were going to stay at home that he would soon have to be put on a ventilator. Sandy kept working and a hospice nurse had been hired to watch Paul. It was all that she could do to keep it together. She prayed every night, questioning her faith more and more. How could a God let Paul suffer like he was suffering? She got in to a routine, working around the nurse, feeling like a third wheel in her own house.

One night, after work, she went to check on Paul. He was in need of that ventilator but he was fighting as hard as he could to stay off of it. She sat by his side.

“ Send the kids in one at a time”, he whispered, barely understandable. “I am going to say goodbye to all of you tonight, and then after the nurse goes, I want the pill”.

“I can’t……….”

He interrupted her, “It is my choice, I just need you to put it in my mouth and help me swallow it”.

It went against all of her religious beliefs and in her mind, made her an accomplice to a murder, but it was his wish. He was the love of her life and she had to obey his wishes.

Later, the children went in one at a time and as they left Paul’s room, they could not contain their tears. Sandy went in last with the tablet and a glass of water. She held her husbands hand, and then forced him to swallow it. She felt that it was crazy, she had no idea what it was, it could have been rat poison for all she knew. His eyes were getting glossy and his breathing started to slow. He looked at her and told her to go, not with his mouth, but just with a look. She respected his wishes, kissed him and said her goodbye. She left the room, wanting to break down, but she knew that she had to stay strong for her children. She rounded them all up and they climbed into Her King Sized bed, which she and Paul had shared for 17 years. They huddled and cried. There was no sleeping, just tears and hugs. The dawn would bring a new BEGINNING for them, however unwanted it may have been.

At about 2 AM, there was a loud crash. It scared the hell out of her and she sprung from the bed. The startled children followed her. She was looking for the dog, he was supposed to be outside. There was no sign of the dog, so she sent the kids back to bed, telling them that she would be there in a minute. She knew that Paul was dead and had to check and see if she needed to call the authorities. She opened the door to his room and saw that the night table had been overturned. That was the crash that they had heard. She turned the light on and looked at the bed. Paul was gone! The doorknob to the bathroom turned and Paul , very unsteadily, emerged, holding onto the dresser to stabilize himself. He was WALKING!

“What was that pill”? He asked her in a low, but steady voice. “I am sorry about the noise, I had to use the bathroom, and then I was going to try to come down and try to surprise you. I just started feeling better and better, and I was able to move my arms, and then my legs, and I started breathing easier.”

Sandy did not know what to say, no one recovered from ALS, but he was clearly going the other way. He had made a fifty percent recovery in a matter of hours.
She dropped to her knees and said a prayer, while Paul just looked at her and cried. “Thank you ,God,” she repeated over and over.

Sitting under the freeway underpass, in front of a burning pile of trash, a little old man popped an aspirin and said, “You’re welcome, my angel”

Sometimes a new BEGINNING can come from the most unexpected place!

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Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Rhyming Wednesday

Rhyming Wednesday


Time for Rhyming Wednesday once again! I got sick of looking for photos for wordless Wednesday, plus I have too much to say. I noticed that there were a lot of poets in the blog world, so I thought that I would try to round them up. There are no rules, your poem does not need to rhyme, or be a certain style, I am still waiting for some dirty limericks! You can use someone else's poem, but should credit the author!
O.K. here is mine this week:

THE RACIST PIG

There once was a racist pig,
Who ruled over all of the farm,
He hated his other barn mates,
And wished them nothing but harm.

The ones with black feathers were noisy,
Those annoying dark little ducks,
And the sheep were always whining,
Those white and wooley ol' fucks

The dogs were always barking,
Their yelping was just way too loud,
And the horses were far too snooty,
Standing and acting so proud.

The chickens drove the pig crazy,
To him they all looked the same,
And the rabbits kept reproducing,
Bringing his neighborhood shame.

He didn't like the cows,
Because their color was mixed,
And felt that all of the cats,
Should be taken away to get fixed.

Then one day came the farmer,
And he took the pig away,
There was excitement in the barn yard,
It was a wonderful day.

And no animal cried out for him,
He felt like he was forsaken,
That ugly old racist pig,
Made a hell of a tasty bacon.

The moral to the pig's story,
Is easy to comprehend,
If you live life as a racist,
You will die without a friend.

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