Another Otin Interview

A couple of years ago we at ARMCHAIR MAGAZINE sat down with the addicted blogger who calls himself Otin. We decided to once again check in on the now seemingly semi-retired story teller.

Our reporter, John Bunion, met with the reclusive wizard at his home on the east coast.

John: It's been a while since we last spoke with you, Otin. It is still Otin, right?

Otin: Why would I change it?

John: Well, I guess you probably know that in one culture otin is a term for a man's private parts?

Otin: So you're already calling me a dick? You wouldn't be the first one. (Both laugh)

John: So what have you been up to? I see that the blog is nearly dormant.

Otin: I've been writing books. I wrote two in the last year.

John: Are you trying to get them published?

Otin: No, I'm gonna throw them away! Where is Bill Engval when you need him.

John: Yeah, I guess that was a here's your sign type of question. Okay, I will rephrase that....any luck getting them published?

Otin: Lots of rejection, but they say that's to be expected. All I can do is try my best.

John: Are you going to write another novel or maybe a short story in the near future?

Otin: I'm sure I will but I have to paint the kitchen first.

John: You have to paint it? You sound like you have no choice.

Otin: I can't get into that, but I really don't! (Grins)

John: Do you miss blogging?

Otin: To be honest, most times no. Unless blogging can be used as a springboard to other things then it is really just a time drain. I don't want to look back in ten years and regret all the time I spent on line. I like the people I correspond with and even though I'm not around much I still catch their posts in the reader.

John: How is the personal life?

Otin gets up and walks away. He originally agreed to do the interview with the stipulation that he would not be asked about anything involving his personal relationships. After a brief discussion with a magazine official, he rejoins John.

John: Sorry, I forgot about the restrictions. There's just some things that people are dying to know and I guess I got caught up in trying to get the information.

Otin: Mystery is the key to every good story. Keep 'em guessing.

John: Okay then, let's just throw some things out there. Who is the most overrated musical act of all time?

Otin: Easy one....Bob Dylan. He can't sing, can barely play an instrument, and his poems are simple and stupid. If it hadn't been for the fact that he came along when he did, he would have never been noticed.

John: Most Underrated?

Otin: The original Black Sabbath Lineup with Ozzy. Great sound.

John: Anything that really bugs you lately?

Otin: Security!

John: Being secure bugs you?

Otin: (Laughs) No....like at events. I can understand being cautious about what bags go into the belly of a plane, but when you're out in the middle of some hick town and you can't even bring a tiny cooler into a minor league baseball game, that's what annoys me. They're just using it to jack up the concession stand prices under the guise of protection! Do you know that you can carry a suitcase onto an Amtrak train in North Carolina and go straight into the nation's capital without any security check? How strange is that? It seems that security is only tight when someone has something to gain financially by restricting you. Do you think that a little old lady at an amusement park really needs to have a wand waved between her legs? Just idiotic!

John: Wow, I touched a nerve. Any other complaints?

Otin: Of course. How about cops on interstates. It seems that every time one pulls out of the median to go after a speeder, the entire roadway, which had been flowing smoothly minutes before, becomes a hazardous nightmare. When the pursuing cops become more dangerous than the guy who is driving fast then we need to examine how things are done. I'm not bashing law enforcement, I just think that there has to be a better way on the interstates.

John: What's your favorite TV show?

OTIN: Either The Deadliest Catch or The Amazing Race.

John: Were you surprised by the Casey Anthony verdict?

Otin: No way. I could have raised enough doubt with the jury myself to get her off and I'm not even a lawyer!

John: One last question...Will you ever come back to being a full time blogger?

Otin: No way!

John: Thank you for your time.

Otin: You're welcome (shake hands)