Let's analyze some stupid statements:
Money can't buy you happiness -
No, it can just buy you everything you need to make you happy.
You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar-
Does anyone actively hunt for flies? I mean I kill them if they show up, but I don't make a sport of it.
His bark is worse than his bite -
If something actually bit me, I'm pretty sure it would be the worse of the two choices.
Beggars can't be choosers-
Tell that to the politicians! They beg for your money and votes and then decide how you can spend the rest.
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush-
Unless it's a live vulture
Curiosity killed the cat -
What's the big deal...it's got nine lives anyway.
different strokes for different folks -
sounds like a bad day at the nursing home.
Do unto others as you would have others do unto you -
This gives me license to rude, obnoxious and ignorant.
Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy. wealthy, and wise-
it makes me tired, sore, and grumpy!
Every cloud has a silver lining-
it's called lightning.
Your eyes are bigger than your stomach-
I'm an Italian guy from Jersey, who are you kidding?
Okay, I know you're getting tired of this, so two more..............
The pen is mightier than the sword -
I've never seen two Ninjas go at it with a bic before.
There's more than one way to skin a cat-
I saw this on a menu right before I ordered my General Tso's Chicken.
21 comments:
Somebody's feeling silly today... :)
I can relate to all of this. My life is sad.
Some of these sound absolutely ridiculous! Skinning a cat - who would have thought of that in a million years.
When we laughed at her, my mother used to say, 'Watch out, you'll be laughing on the other side of your face.' Tell me, where is that?
Good ones, Otin.
Oh you're getting grumpier than I am although I wouldn't want anyone to be obnoxious or ignorant towards me. And I'd just like to prove that money can't buy happiness.
different strokes for different folks...are you writing porn now? smiles.
Um, I've never seen 2 ninjas go at it at all. But I want to! :)
Do unto others as you would have others do unto you -
This gives me license to rude, obnoxious and ignorant.
HILARIOUS. So true.
well,....
butter my butt and call me biscuit! LOL
Ha! This is funny. And the last one really had me rolling!
LOL
I know I shouldn't be laughing but the "nursing home" comment cracked me up.
Good to see you back, Otin.
jj
If you had gone on, I wouldn't complain.
Love the one about early to rise, makes me grumpy too! lol
And I don't think chinese will be my choice for dinner tonight. Thanks!
lmaooooooooo hysterical!
In the 70's I had a beach towel with a hippie cartoon guy that said "Do unto others...then split!" Thanks for the memories.
So your saying the Generals Tsao secret recipe is housepets? Huh?
That does it. I won't be going for Chinese food any longer.
*snicker*
I always say that about money, too! :)
The vulture one made me LOL out loud.
Love your interpretations - very true! But EWWWWWW on that last one.
I've had some nasty pen fights. Not.
cute.
every single time i would say "curiosity killed the cat" my ex used to respond "but it saved the mice"
i wanted to slap him whenever he did it
Of course, the pen/sword one is a classic misquote by ommission. It was originally something like, "In a state ruled by reasonable people, the pen is mightier than the sword." Leave out that first part, and of course you get a different flavor.
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